My pear tried to kill me this morning. I was driving to work and was, ironically, listening to a segment on NPR about their “Infomagical challenge”–all about removing distractions. Just as I rounded the corner into school, my pear, precariously placed on the middle console, leapt forward and rolled under my break pedal. Luckily, I watched a ton of Rescue 911 when I was a kid and was very prepared for this moment. Two of my childhood fears were water bottles rolling under brake pedals and playing near ravines just as the town opened the dam somewhere a mile away. I was very fortunate to be at an empty intersection, so I kicked the pear away and leaned down to grab it. I am now eating this pear–as revenge.